The first time I bought a pair of Spanx, I was so shifty-eyed and secretive, I might as well have been buying drugs. I felt like the purchase was an admission that I’d never again have the perfectly svelte body of my college days. It was depressing. Embarrassing. Soul-crushing.
If only Kristen Stewart’s scandalous Spanx secret had been exposed back then … I would have felt so much better.
Yes, girls, in a recent appearance on the Tonight Show, Kristen’s daringly bare dress exposed a little more leg than she bargained for, giving millions of viewers a view of her ….
SPANX.
KRISTEN STEWART WEARS SPANX.
Yessssssssss!
To be honest, I’m not surprised. I’ve heard rumors that all the Hollywood A-listers wear Spanx, whether they weight 90 pounds or … 110 pounds. Many of them have also breast implants. Now that I’m a proud Spanx-sporter, I wish I had discovered them a long time ago. No matter how slim you are, you could probably still use an undergarment that smooths over bumps and lumps, and keeps you from feeling like you have to suck in your stomach all night long.
Still, it’s nice to see a gaunt girl like Kristen wearing Spanx. It makes me feel more normal.
I’m guessing she was wearing this:
Spanx Super Higher Power Shaper (Lord & Taylor, $38).
Rookie move, Kristen. Next time, I’d suggest you opt for the Spanx Higher Power Brief instead.
At any rate, maybe it’ll convince our dear ‘Bella Swan’ to wear something a little less … bare … the next time she’s on national television.
But that’s another post for another time.
Are you surprised that Kristen Stewart wears Spanx?
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